musings of the domesticated godess

Monday, August 9, 2010

where is the love ?

Spanking , what is it good for ?

A bit of light hearted adult foreplay perhaps with paddles but that's it .

Many moons ago it was acceptable to spank a child and many still believe it to be an effective way to discipline .

Sure its effective and quick ........for the spanker , but what is the lesson your teaching the child ?

woman angry Pictures, Images and Photos

That bigger people have the right to invade your personal space and use physical acts of aggression on people smaller than themselves because they dont like what is happening , store that one kiddies for when your old enough to go out for a drink someone may bump into you , they may spill your drink you have permission to give them a swift smack ...................hold the phone , whats that ? assault , so striking an adult is assault but striking a child is okay ? what a crazy world we live in , there goes the saying "pick on someone your own size " screw it up , put it in the bin , it does not apply to children .

I often wonder how people will move on and evolve to be better , compassionate , empathetic humans but evidently it's hard for some to forget the ways of the past and educate themselves on more peaceful ways to discipline , for most it's learned behavior " my parents did it and im fine " oh how ive heard this one a million times , well my grandfather smoked and lived till he was 90 so fuck it everyone light up cause its FIIIIINE *sigh* on the other hand some people seem to thoroughly enjoy spanking , smacking , hitting ( it's all the same in my book ) from the many mothers forums ive surfed i have observed some truly terrifying accounts of spanking with comments such as " whoop their ass " or " just pop them in the mouth " yeah that last one was in reference to a baby , A BABY !

I know , i know many people only use it as " a last resort " However, new research is increasingly showing that spanking teaches children how to act in aggressive and sometimes violent ways, which can impact on a child's chances of a successful relationships and job prospects.

So what are the alternatives ? i hear you ask .

Set rules in advance :
It's important to set clear , firm ground rules .
If your child is old enough it may be helpful to ask them what some good rules and consequences are , write them down and place them in a visible area .
Mum ad dad must be united when handing down the consequences .

Set time limits in advance :

For example let your child know " 10 minutes before bed " this lets them finish what it is they are doing instead of quickly snapping " bed , now ! "

Let them know the options :

If a child is throwing a toy you could say " you can either play nicely with your toy or it is going to be put away " some children may need to be shown what it is you expect , sit down and show them how you expect them to play by joining in if only for 5 minutes .

Be firm but compassionate :
Tantrum throwing toddlers can benefit from being removed from the area and placed in a nice quiet are to calm down , explain to them when they are ready to return they may , some say use the 1 minute for every year of age but i feel they know when they are ready .

Ask questions :
For older children you can discuss what it is they have done , why they have done it and what they may do to rectify the situation .

And last but not least BREATH !

Baby on the hip , phones ringing , your toddler wants attention , dinner is burning , the dog just ran mud all over the couch and daddy dearest just used all the hot water GGGGGGRRRRRR .

Cool it mumma , breath before you blow like Krakatoa , say a mantra or count to ten sometimes people spank out of frustration or anger its best in these situations to give yourself a time out !

Not spanking does not mean no discipline.

Give Peace a chance , Luxe .

1 comment:

  1. Absoloutley LOVE this! It's so nice, such a relief to read about someone who shares the exact opinion of mine when it comes to spanking.