Spanking , what is it good for ?
A bit of light hearted adult foreplay perhaps with paddles but that's it .
Many moons ago it was acceptable to spank a child and many still believe it to be an effective way to discipline .
Sure its effective and quick ........for the spanker , but what is the lesson your teaching the child ?
That bigger people have the right to invade your personal space and use physical acts of aggression on people smaller than themselves because they dont like what is happening , store that one kiddies for when your old enough to go out for a drink someone may bump into you , they may spill your drink you have permission to give them a swift smack ...................hold the phone , whats that ? assault , so striking an adult is assault but striking a child is okay ? what a crazy world we live in , there goes the saying "pick on someone your own size " screw it up , put it in the bin , it does not apply to children .
I often wonder how people will move on and evolve to be better , compassionate , empathetic humans but evidently it's hard for some to forget the ways of the past and educate themselves on more peaceful ways to discipline , for most it's learned behavior " my parents did it and im fine " oh how ive heard this one a million times , well my grandfather smoked and lived till he was 90 so fuck it everyone light up cause its FIIIIINE *sigh* on the other hand some people seem to thoroughly enjoy spanking , smacking , hitting ( it's all the same in my book ) from the many mothers forums ive surfed i have observed some truly terrifying accounts of spanking with comments such as " whoop their ass " or " just pop them in the mouth " yeah that last one was in reference to a baby , A BABY !
I know , i know many people only use it as " a last resort " However, new research is increasingly showing that spanking teaches children how to act in aggressive and sometimes violent ways, which can impact on a child's chances of a successful relationships and job prospects.
So what are the alternatives ? i hear you ask .
Set rules in advance :
It's important to set clear , firm ground rules .
If your child is old enough it may be helpful to ask them what some good rules and consequences are , write them down and place them in a visible area .
Mum ad dad must be united when handing down the consequences .
Set time limits in advance :
For example let your child know " 10 minutes before bed " this lets them finish what it is they are doing instead of quickly snapping " bed , now ! "
Let them know the options :
If a child is throwing a toy you could say " you can either play nicely with your toy or it is going to be put away " some children may need to be shown what it is you expect , sit down and show them how you expect them to play by joining in if only for 5 minutes .
Be firm but compassionate :
Tantrum throwing toddlers can benefit from being removed from the area and placed in a nice quiet are to calm down , explain to them when they are ready to return they may , some say use the 1 minute for every year of age but i feel they know when they are ready .
Ask questions :
For older children you can discuss what it is they have done , why they have done it and what they may do to rectify the situation .
And last but not least BREATH !
Baby on the hip , phones ringing , your toddler wants attention , dinner is burning , the dog just ran mud all over the couch and daddy dearest just used all the hot water GGGGGGRRRRRR .
Cool it mumma , breath before you blow like Krakatoa , say a mantra or count to ten sometimes people spank out of frustration or anger its best in these situations to give yourself a time out !
Not spanking does not mean no discipline.
Give Peace a chance , Luxe .