This is a response to the circumcision thread from a passionate intactivist male .
..................................................................................
"But his dad is cut we want them to look the same"
ME. Having an elephant trunk hanging between your legs can cause serious insecurity, even emotional damage. But not to the owner of the trouser snake with eyelid, but to his Dad. Parents cut their sons because Dad does not want to be reminded of what Nature Intended every time he is a proper modern Dad and changes his son's diaper, or gives his son his daily bath. Mom does not want to be reminded, while she cares for her son, of something that Nature put at centre stage of vaginal intercourse but she does not get to enjoy. Routine circ then follows from the old adage that "out of sight, out of mind." Millions of American parents fear that foreskin would inject inappropriate sexual thoughts into the parent-child relationship.
If Dad and son must look alike, let Dad restore his foreskin. The job will be complete by the time Dad and Son are old enough to use a locker room together.
"Intact is unhealthy"
ME. Yea, if you let weeks go by without skinning it back in the shower, if you have contempt for condoms, and frequent women so trashy they are willing to risk all for a one night stand without a condom. Foreskins are not unhealthy; irresponsible sex is. Last century, a quarter million American gay men died of AIDS. Ang guess what? The vast majority were circumcised.
"but i just think they look nicer "
ME. Nicer in Mom's eyes is irrelevant. And who knows what his future wife will prefer?
When, over the years, I have told fellow men that I defend the foreskin, several have replied as follows:
"Have it your way, but uncircumcised guys can forget about ever getting a blowjob"
Lady Luxe, you did not write that, but I want to inject that into this frank discussion. I have taken the liberty of being very blunt here, because your post was very blunt.
Many American parents silently believe an American boy's first sex act will be a blow job at 11PM on a Friday or Saturday night, in a car parked on a lover's lane, after a dance or game. This will take place 18 hours since his last shower. If he's uncut, his johnson will be slimmy and stinky, and she will balk at doing the deed. Worse yet, she might dump him for having a Weird or Dirty Dick. Worst of all, she might reluctantly agree to vaginal intercourse and risk pregancy or passing on an STD, because she simply cannot face sucking an uncircumcised dick.
This controversy is a polarising one, because I submit that the foreskin is the lewdest part of the male body. It stands at centre stage of vaginal intercourse and foreplay. If we endeavour to preserve it, we are conceding its sexual advantages. In turn, that means admitting that tens of millions of American men and their spouses are at a sexual disadvantage. That is simply not a pretty picture.
The 20th century American Foreskin Holocaust has damaged the sexual side of quite a few American marriages. A host of problems can be laid at the doorstep of routine circ: PE, ED, jackrabbit sex, boring foreplay, chronic soreness, inadequate lubrication, scarring of the penis, not enough skin to allow for comfortable erection, a slow death of penis sensation in middle age. Most of all is the removal of the foreskin glide action during intercourse. Not all women notice this action, and some that do notice it don't especially value it. But some women deem their discovery of intercourse with an intact penis a major turning point in their lifetime journey of sexual self-discovery. There are even American women who say they climax seldom or never with cut men, and always with intact men.
This summer, Cosmo published an article saying that intact makes for better sex. In light of what I have written above, I suspect that's true, but never mind: what counts is whether the typical young American woman will believe it true, which I think is about to happen.
Ladies, please be very careful about putting the info I have set out here into practice, because the full sexual glory of the intact penis requires dispensing with a condom, which I really cannot recommend outside of marriage.
musings of the domesticated godess
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My love of baby wearing
Babywearing is something i came across quiet by accident , living in an area that served as a daily catwalk of the latest styles , i remember being pregnant with my first son and seeing quiet a few new mothers and fathers carting their children around in slings , i thought to myself " those look awesome , really hippy chic , ive gotta have one " i never knew my purchase of that sling based purely on its fashion credibility would bring me so much more than i anticipated .
The day came and i was finally able to go home with my new son , itching to go or a walk and dreading dragging a pram down three flights of stairs i grabbed the sling and placed my so inside , he instantly fell asleep to the gentle rock all curled up in the sling like a little marsupial in it's pouch , it was one of many " awwwww" moments i treasure , i felt so ..........motherly .
The sling became a daily staple , hang out the washing ? wear the baby , sweep the floor ? wear the baby you get the drift , i could have him close to my body and be hands free , awesome !
I could never have imagined such a simple product could have so much benefit from getting day to day jobs done , resistance training great for new mothers to the amazing bonding experience it provided .
So where did this amazing , wonderful invention come from ? i soon discovered it to be a worldwide phenomenon , practiced all over the world for centuries , dating as far back as 50,000 years ago suggests Blaffr-Hrdy (2000).
Baby carrying and carriers around the world.
Mexico and Guatemala
Short wraparound slings have been used in many cultures. The Mexican or Guatemalan Rebozo is well-known thanks to the work of Barbara Wishingrad and her Rebozo way project. These shawls are used for carrying all sorts of items as well as for clothing and protection from the sun. Rebozos are also used during pregnancy to reposition the baby and during birthing to help support the mother in various positions.
Peru and Bolivia
A Manta or Awayo has been traditionally worn. This is a large rectangle of woven fabric folded in half and tied in a knot at the mother's chest. The baby is carried on the mother's back.
Tahiti
A Pareo is a rectangular piece of printed cloth that is also used as a wraparound skirt.
Ecuador
Woven or sheet cloths are used on the back. Either a rectangular or triangular piece of fabric is used.
Borneo
The Tribes from Borneo such as Kayan and Kenyah traditionally carry their babies in a rattan plaited carrier. These are decorated with multicolored beaded patterns of dragons, leopards and hornbills. Ancient glass beads and amulets of bear-claws or leopard's fangs add to the spiritual protection of the baby carried within.
Indonesia
Pieces of fabric are also tied over one shoulder and are used as baby carriers. These are called selendang slings. They are also worn as a skirt or dress or used to carry things.
Kenya
A rectangular piece of material with a border around it is also used by women and men to carry a baby on the back, as well as to sit on, to carry items on the head, and to protect clothing whilst cooking. In some parts it is called a kanga, in other parts a pagne, and in coastal region a woven style is called a kikoy. Last century, important Swahili sayings started to be printed on each kanga. Two identical pieces of fabric (called a doti) are usually bought together. An identical pair is sometimes split between best friends. A baby can be tied on using one or two kangas.
Mozambique
A Capulana is used, which is a printed piece of cloth used for baby carrying as well as carrying other things or as a piece of clothing. For carrying babies it is tied over a shoulder and knotted between the breasts (like a sling). The baby sits on the back.
South Africa
A piece of cloth is again used. Babies are tied onto the back with the cloth tied on top of the breasts, but straight around the back rather than over the shoulder.
Papua New Guinea
Ipili people use a net bag called a bilum to carry their babies. They are carried with the strap around the forehead of the mother and the baby in the bag carried on the front or back. A bilum is a bag available in many sizes and used for carrying many different things. The bag is lined with soft leaves or pieces of cloth to make it more comfortable for the baby.
Bali
Bainese babies do not touch the ground for the first three months, but are passed from person to person. After this time a special ceremony is held and babies are then welcome to play on the ground.
Egypt
Egyptian women who picked cotton in the fields would make slings out of dress fabric. The patterns were colourful and bright, and the slings were wide in the middle and narrower at the ends. The women carried their babies on their backs in this way.
Asian carriers
In South West China, Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam, Mei Tais are worn, with either a double or single strap, as are Hmong style carriers which are usually beautifully hand- embroidered. The mei tai originated from China and has probably been around for centuries. They were used by peasant women whilst working in the fields.
Laos, Myanmar, and parts of China, Vietnam and Tibet
A "Hmong"-style carrier is used, a squre of fabric similar to a podaegi but narrower. The baby is worn in front or on the back. In these cultures there have generally been plenty of extended family so babies are often passed from one set of arms to another. As people move to cities and move away from more traditional ways, carriers are used far less and more Western ways such as strollers are adopted.
Japan
Onbuhimos were used, which are a wrap style carrier made from gauze, cotton, or wool, similar to a Mei Tai but with a narrower body style.
Korea
The Podaegi is used which is a kind of blanket tied around the wearer’s chest rather than over the shoulders.
India
In areas where the caste system still applies, some of the lower caste peoples carry their children by tying them into the shawl part of their saris. Apparently, higher caste peoples believe that it is only the lower caste carry babies.
Tibet, Nepal, Indian Himalayas
Wraparound carriers are often used, generally of a single colour; fuschia coloured ones seem popular in Lhasa. The fabrics used range in thickness from very thin to very thick.
Russia
A short piece of cloth like a rebozo would traditionally be used.
Europe
In Europe, recorded history has often focussed on the upper classes, where the art of baby carrying was lost earlier than in the rural areas and lower classes. Thus, information is not readily available on the history of baby carrying. At the Didymos website, pictures showing baby carrying give us some idea of what happened, for example a Rembrandt picture illustrates a woman a child tied to her back. These pictures indicate that in the Middle Ages in Europe, it may have been common for babies to be worn on their mothers’ backs.
During the 19th Century in Europe poor and uneducated people carried their children and were physically close with them, whereas the upper classes created a distance between adult and child, with the widespread view of not spoiling them.
Wales
In Wales, long pieces of fabric and shawls were used to carry babies, which continued until around the 1950’s.
Highland Scotland
Scottish women are also rumoured to have used their plaid to carry their babies.
Dalarna, a northern province in Sweden held onto traditions longer than any other part of Sweden. Interestingly, women in this culture had voting rights, ownership rights and kept their last names in marriage. They also carried their children in a "bog" or “boeg” – which has been carried on into the English word, "bag". It was made of leather and shaped into a rounded bag with edges and straps that were cut into traditional patterns. The baby would be wrapped in something warm, then placed in the bog.
In some Scandinavian cultures, cradleboards were also used.
In Germany, a traditional cloak or coat was worn, in which there was a piece of cloth to wrap the baby on the hip.
England
In Victorian England, upper class households would employ a rocking nurse, who would carry the baby in her arms on walks and rock them when crying. Rocking cradles were used by women working in houses.
Ref:http://www.parentingwithpresence.net/index.php?pageid=1899
The day came and i was finally able to go home with my new son , itching to go or a walk and dreading dragging a pram down three flights of stairs i grabbed the sling and placed my so inside , he instantly fell asleep to the gentle rock all curled up in the sling like a little marsupial in it's pouch , it was one of many " awwwww" moments i treasure , i felt so ..........motherly .
The sling became a daily staple , hang out the washing ? wear the baby , sweep the floor ? wear the baby you get the drift , i could have him close to my body and be hands free , awesome !
I could never have imagined such a simple product could have so much benefit from getting day to day jobs done , resistance training great for new mothers to the amazing bonding experience it provided .
So where did this amazing , wonderful invention come from ? i soon discovered it to be a worldwide phenomenon , practiced all over the world for centuries , dating as far back as 50,000 years ago suggests Blaffr-Hrdy (2000).
Baby carrying and carriers around the world.
Mexico and Guatemala
Short wraparound slings have been used in many cultures. The Mexican or Guatemalan Rebozo is well-known thanks to the work of Barbara Wishingrad and her Rebozo way project. These shawls are used for carrying all sorts of items as well as for clothing and protection from the sun. Rebozos are also used during pregnancy to reposition the baby and during birthing to help support the mother in various positions.
Peru and Bolivia
A Manta or Awayo has been traditionally worn. This is a large rectangle of woven fabric folded in half and tied in a knot at the mother's chest. The baby is carried on the mother's back.
Tahiti
A Pareo is a rectangular piece of printed cloth that is also used as a wraparound skirt.
Ecuador
Woven or sheet cloths are used on the back. Either a rectangular or triangular piece of fabric is used.
Borneo
The Tribes from Borneo such as Kayan and Kenyah traditionally carry their babies in a rattan plaited carrier. These are decorated with multicolored beaded patterns of dragons, leopards and hornbills. Ancient glass beads and amulets of bear-claws or leopard's fangs add to the spiritual protection of the baby carried within.
Indonesia
Pieces of fabric are also tied over one shoulder and are used as baby carriers. These are called selendang slings. They are also worn as a skirt or dress or used to carry things.
Kenya
A rectangular piece of material with a border around it is also used by women and men to carry a baby on the back, as well as to sit on, to carry items on the head, and to protect clothing whilst cooking. In some parts it is called a kanga, in other parts a pagne, and in coastal region a woven style is called a kikoy. Last century, important Swahili sayings started to be printed on each kanga. Two identical pieces of fabric (called a doti) are usually bought together. An identical pair is sometimes split between best friends. A baby can be tied on using one or two kangas.
Mozambique
A Capulana is used, which is a printed piece of cloth used for baby carrying as well as carrying other things or as a piece of clothing. For carrying babies it is tied over a shoulder and knotted between the breasts (like a sling). The baby sits on the back.
South Africa
A piece of cloth is again used. Babies are tied onto the back with the cloth tied on top of the breasts, but straight around the back rather than over the shoulder.
Papua New Guinea
Ipili people use a net bag called a bilum to carry their babies. They are carried with the strap around the forehead of the mother and the baby in the bag carried on the front or back. A bilum is a bag available in many sizes and used for carrying many different things. The bag is lined with soft leaves or pieces of cloth to make it more comfortable for the baby.
Bali
Bainese babies do not touch the ground for the first three months, but are passed from person to person. After this time a special ceremony is held and babies are then welcome to play on the ground.
Egypt
Egyptian women who picked cotton in the fields would make slings out of dress fabric. The patterns were colourful and bright, and the slings were wide in the middle and narrower at the ends. The women carried their babies on their backs in this way.
Asian carriers
In South West China, Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam, Mei Tais are worn, with either a double or single strap, as are Hmong style carriers which are usually beautifully hand- embroidered. The mei tai originated from China and has probably been around for centuries. They were used by peasant women whilst working in the fields.
Laos, Myanmar, and parts of China, Vietnam and Tibet
A "Hmong"-style carrier is used, a squre of fabric similar to a podaegi but narrower. The baby is worn in front or on the back. In these cultures there have generally been plenty of extended family so babies are often passed from one set of arms to another. As people move to cities and move away from more traditional ways, carriers are used far less and more Western ways such as strollers are adopted.
Japan
Onbuhimos were used, which are a wrap style carrier made from gauze, cotton, or wool, similar to a Mei Tai but with a narrower body style.
Korea
The Podaegi is used which is a kind of blanket tied around the wearer’s chest rather than over the shoulders.
India
In areas where the caste system still applies, some of the lower caste peoples carry their children by tying them into the shawl part of their saris. Apparently, higher caste peoples believe that it is only the lower caste carry babies.
Tibet, Nepal, Indian Himalayas
Wraparound carriers are often used, generally of a single colour; fuschia coloured ones seem popular in Lhasa. The fabrics used range in thickness from very thin to very thick.
Russia
A short piece of cloth like a rebozo would traditionally be used.
Europe
In Europe, recorded history has often focussed on the upper classes, where the art of baby carrying was lost earlier than in the rural areas and lower classes. Thus, information is not readily available on the history of baby carrying. At the Didymos website, pictures showing baby carrying give us some idea of what happened, for example a Rembrandt picture illustrates a woman a child tied to her back. These pictures indicate that in the Middle Ages in Europe, it may have been common for babies to be worn on their mothers’ backs.
During the 19th Century in Europe poor and uneducated people carried their children and were physically close with them, whereas the upper classes created a distance between adult and child, with the widespread view of not spoiling them.
Wales
In Wales, long pieces of fabric and shawls were used to carry babies, which continued until around the 1950’s.
Highland Scotland
Scottish women are also rumoured to have used their plaid to carry their babies.
Dalarna, a northern province in Sweden held onto traditions longer than any other part of Sweden. Interestingly, women in this culture had voting rights, ownership rights and kept their last names in marriage. They also carried their children in a "bog" or “boeg” – which has been carried on into the English word, "bag". It was made of leather and shaped into a rounded bag with edges and straps that were cut into traditional patterns. The baby would be wrapped in something warm, then placed in the bog.
In some Scandinavian cultures, cradleboards were also used.
In Germany, a traditional cloak or coat was worn, in which there was a piece of cloth to wrap the baby on the hip.
England
In Victorian England, upper class households would employ a rocking nurse, who would carry the baby in her arms on walks and rock them when crying. Rocking cradles were used by women working in houses.
Ref:http://www.parentingwithpresence.net/index.php?pageid=1899
Quote of the day
Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.
Ronald Reagan
Ronald Reagan
Circumcision - Its not your penis .
This is not a fluff piece , I'm not here to make you comfortable .
Circumcision is a barbaric and archaic practice , some would say it is mutilation and by definition IT IS :mu·ti·late (mytl-t)
tr.v. mu·ti·lat·ed, mu·ti·lat·ing, mu·ti·lates
1. To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple.
2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably.
3. To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.
Why does this topic raise such passion in people ? I have a few notions , on one side of the fence those who oppose circumcision see it as a violation of human rights , a violation of ones genital integrity both matters of extreme importance on the other side of the fence people are coming to the realization that what they have been told , what they have done or what has been done to them was wrong , it's the dawning of this realization that either turns people over to supporting the intactivist movement or strongly defending what they feel they cannot change or what they think should not change.
IN some cases its be like me so i dont feel different , make intact males feel like shit so they feel alienated .
Ok so the last paragraph is the extreme version of a minority , i accept not all are like this , in fact most guys really do not give a shit what tackle the other guy is carrying which really throws out the ridiculous notion that guys hang around locker rooms checking out each others penises .
"But his dad is cut we want them to look the same "
Ugh really ? well daddy just got a tattoo , get your guns out lets ink this baby HEAVEN FORBID they look different , daddy just had his nose broken at football today better break baby boy's too .
"but i just think they look nicer "
Well John doe thinks fake tits look nicer too better start strapping your daughters down and inserting that silicone , why not remove the entire breast at puberty and THEN get that boob job , kills two birds with one stone she wont get breast cancer , mastitis , thrush or cysts and she will have the desired look for someone , somewhere .
No its not personal choice if you are choosing for someone else , ITS NOT YOUR PENIS .
Circ decreases sexual sensitivity , holy orgasm WHAT MAN WANTS THAT ?
As for the health risk claims that this procedure prevents cancer and sexually transmitted diseases this has been thoroughly discredited.
Thankfully most of the world are either in decline like Australia or do not generally circumcise such as European countries , non Muslim Asia and south America , in fact 85% of the worlds male population is INTACT .
North America are apparently the last to get the memo that no national or international medical association recommends routine circumcision , but money talks and that's what the American health care system relies on right , they can spin as much bullshit as they like , play on the fears of parents everywhere but in the end there is only one goal , KA$CHING , YEP that's right cash ? http://www.nocirc.org/position/
One day in the future circumcision will be seen as irrational as frontal lobotomy (which cited just as many supposed health benefits )
All in all nature did not fuck up , your sons were born as nature intended with a foreskin , a healthy functional foreskin so please let your child grow into a man who has the ability to enjoy their full sexual anatomy in all its natural glory .
Circumcision is a barbaric and archaic practice , some would say it is mutilation and by definition IT IS :mu·ti·late (mytl-t)
tr.v. mu·ti·lat·ed, mu·ti·lat·ing, mu·ti·lates
1. To deprive of a limb or an essential part; cripple.
2. To disfigure by damaging irreparably.
3. To make imperfect by excising or altering parts.
Why does this topic raise such passion in people ? I have a few notions , on one side of the fence those who oppose circumcision see it as a violation of human rights , a violation of ones genital integrity both matters of extreme importance on the other side of the fence people are coming to the realization that what they have been told , what they have done or what has been done to them was wrong , it's the dawning of this realization that either turns people over to supporting the intactivist movement or strongly defending what they feel they cannot change or what they think should not change.
IN some cases its be like me so i dont feel different , make intact males feel like shit so they feel alienated .
Ok so the last paragraph is the extreme version of a minority , i accept not all are like this , in fact most guys really do not give a shit what tackle the other guy is carrying which really throws out the ridiculous notion that guys hang around locker rooms checking out each others penises .
"But his dad is cut we want them to look the same "
Ugh really ? well daddy just got a tattoo , get your guns out lets ink this baby HEAVEN FORBID they look different , daddy just had his nose broken at football today better break baby boy's too .
"but i just think they look nicer "
Well John doe thinks fake tits look nicer too better start strapping your daughters down and inserting that silicone , why not remove the entire breast at puberty and THEN get that boob job , kills two birds with one stone she wont get breast cancer , mastitis , thrush or cysts and she will have the desired look for someone , somewhere .
No its not personal choice if you are choosing for someone else , ITS NOT YOUR PENIS .
Circ decreases sexual sensitivity , holy orgasm WHAT MAN WANTS THAT ?
As for the health risk claims that this procedure prevents cancer and sexually transmitted diseases this has been thoroughly discredited.
Thankfully most of the world are either in decline like Australia or do not generally circumcise such as European countries , non Muslim Asia and south America , in fact 85% of the worlds male population is INTACT .
North America are apparently the last to get the memo that no national or international medical association recommends routine circumcision , but money talks and that's what the American health care system relies on right , they can spin as much bullshit as they like , play on the fears of parents everywhere but in the end there is only one goal , KA$CHING , YEP that's right cash ? http://www.nocirc.org/position/
One day in the future circumcision will be seen as irrational as frontal lobotomy (which cited just as many supposed health benefits )
All in all nature did not fuck up , your sons were born as nature intended with a foreskin , a healthy functional foreskin so please let your child grow into a man who has the ability to enjoy their full sexual anatomy in all its natural glory .
Monday, August 9, 2010
where is the love ?
Spanking , what is it good for ?
A bit of light hearted adult foreplay perhaps with paddles but that's it .
Many moons ago it was acceptable to spank a child and many still believe it to be an effective way to discipline .
Sure its effective and quick ........for the spanker , but what is the lesson your teaching the child ?
That bigger people have the right to invade your personal space and use physical acts of aggression on people smaller than themselves because they dont like what is happening , store that one kiddies for when your old enough to go out for a drink someone may bump into you , they may spill your drink you have permission to give them a swift smack ...................hold the phone , whats that ? assault , so striking an adult is assault but striking a child is okay ? what a crazy world we live in , there goes the saying "pick on someone your own size " screw it up , put it in the bin , it does not apply to children .
I often wonder how people will move on and evolve to be better , compassionate , empathetic humans but evidently it's hard for some to forget the ways of the past and educate themselves on more peaceful ways to discipline , for most it's learned behavior " my parents did it and im fine " oh how ive heard this one a million times , well my grandfather smoked and lived till he was 90 so fuck it everyone light up cause its FIIIIINE *sigh* on the other hand some people seem to thoroughly enjoy spanking , smacking , hitting ( it's all the same in my book ) from the many mothers forums ive surfed i have observed some truly terrifying accounts of spanking with comments such as " whoop their ass " or " just pop them in the mouth " yeah that last one was in reference to a baby , A BABY !
I know , i know many people only use it as " a last resort " However, new research is increasingly showing that spanking teaches children how to act in aggressive and sometimes violent ways, which can impact on a child's chances of a successful relationships and job prospects.
So what are the alternatives ? i hear you ask .
Set rules in advance :
It's important to set clear , firm ground rules .
If your child is old enough it may be helpful to ask them what some good rules and consequences are , write them down and place them in a visible area .
Mum ad dad must be united when handing down the consequences .
Set time limits in advance :
For example let your child know " 10 minutes before bed " this lets them finish what it is they are doing instead of quickly snapping " bed , now ! "
Let them know the options :
If a child is throwing a toy you could say " you can either play nicely with your toy or it is going to be put away " some children may need to be shown what it is you expect , sit down and show them how you expect them to play by joining in if only for 5 minutes .
Be firm but compassionate :
Tantrum throwing toddlers can benefit from being removed from the area and placed in a nice quiet are to calm down , explain to them when they are ready to return they may , some say use the 1 minute for every year of age but i feel they know when they are ready .
Ask questions :
For older children you can discuss what it is they have done , why they have done it and what they may do to rectify the situation .
And last but not least BREATH !
Baby on the hip , phones ringing , your toddler wants attention , dinner is burning , the dog just ran mud all over the couch and daddy dearest just used all the hot water GGGGGGRRRRRR .
Cool it mumma , breath before you blow like Krakatoa , say a mantra or count to ten sometimes people spank out of frustration or anger its best in these situations to give yourself a time out !
Not spanking does not mean no discipline.
Give Peace a chance , Luxe .
A bit of light hearted adult foreplay perhaps with paddles but that's it .
Many moons ago it was acceptable to spank a child and many still believe it to be an effective way to discipline .
Sure its effective and quick ........for the spanker , but what is the lesson your teaching the child ?
That bigger people have the right to invade your personal space and use physical acts of aggression on people smaller than themselves because they dont like what is happening , store that one kiddies for when your old enough to go out for a drink someone may bump into you , they may spill your drink you have permission to give them a swift smack ...................hold the phone , whats that ? assault , so striking an adult is assault but striking a child is okay ? what a crazy world we live in , there goes the saying "pick on someone your own size " screw it up , put it in the bin , it does not apply to children .
I often wonder how people will move on and evolve to be better , compassionate , empathetic humans but evidently it's hard for some to forget the ways of the past and educate themselves on more peaceful ways to discipline , for most it's learned behavior " my parents did it and im fine " oh how ive heard this one a million times , well my grandfather smoked and lived till he was 90 so fuck it everyone light up cause its FIIIIINE *sigh* on the other hand some people seem to thoroughly enjoy spanking , smacking , hitting ( it's all the same in my book ) from the many mothers forums ive surfed i have observed some truly terrifying accounts of spanking with comments such as " whoop their ass " or " just pop them in the mouth " yeah that last one was in reference to a baby , A BABY !
I know , i know many people only use it as " a last resort " However, new research is increasingly showing that spanking teaches children how to act in aggressive and sometimes violent ways, which can impact on a child's chances of a successful relationships and job prospects.
So what are the alternatives ? i hear you ask .
Set rules in advance :
It's important to set clear , firm ground rules .
If your child is old enough it may be helpful to ask them what some good rules and consequences are , write them down and place them in a visible area .
Mum ad dad must be united when handing down the consequences .
Set time limits in advance :
For example let your child know " 10 minutes before bed " this lets them finish what it is they are doing instead of quickly snapping " bed , now ! "
Let them know the options :
If a child is throwing a toy you could say " you can either play nicely with your toy or it is going to be put away " some children may need to be shown what it is you expect , sit down and show them how you expect them to play by joining in if only for 5 minutes .
Be firm but compassionate :
Tantrum throwing toddlers can benefit from being removed from the area and placed in a nice quiet are to calm down , explain to them when they are ready to return they may , some say use the 1 minute for every year of age but i feel they know when they are ready .
Ask questions :
For older children you can discuss what it is they have done , why they have done it and what they may do to rectify the situation .
And last but not least BREATH !
Baby on the hip , phones ringing , your toddler wants attention , dinner is burning , the dog just ran mud all over the couch and daddy dearest just used all the hot water GGGGGGRRRRRR .
Cool it mumma , breath before you blow like Krakatoa , say a mantra or count to ten sometimes people spank out of frustration or anger its best in these situations to give yourself a time out !
Not spanking does not mean no discipline.
Give Peace a chance , Luxe .
What does it mean to be a modern day woman .
I dont know about you but being a modern day woman to me means having a choice , a choice to be smart and sexy yes that's right they dont have to be mutually fucking exclusive HURRAH ! the choice to work for cash in a day to day job or work with love as a full time mother , the choice to worship whomever we please be it God , Mohammad , Buddha , Mother nature or to not worship anyone at all , we can marry if it takes our fancy but take comfort that its not necessary , you wont be shunned , mocked , hidden from society for not baring that once essential shiny ring .
Some of you might say " but your a housewife with a 50's pinup avatar how is that modern ? "
Yes i am a housewife ......by choice , i LOVE it , there i said it , should i feel guilty for that ? no fucking way ! And while i find the 50's ideals of "being a woman ' archaic there is something to be said for the effort women went to to look good , looking good is no longer about pleasing a man although i do love the occasional compliment , it's about feeling good , respecting yourself enough to give a damn .
Ive partied , Ive partied HARD , i have established a career , found a guy i adore , traveled but what i really wanted deep down during my times as head instigator of debauchery was to one day be a good mother and a good wife , that is my need , my want .
You may feel the need to climb the corporate ladder , become a star , fly to the moon , travel the world ,those could very well be your dreams but thats the point right , we are free to make dreams reality in this day in age .
We have come so far and yet we have so much further to go but its a start , be proud to be a woman , stand tall , strive for your dreams its NEVER too late .
Now if only those fuckers in head office would pay us equally .............
Some of you might say " but your a housewife with a 50's pinup avatar how is that modern ? "
Yes i am a housewife ......by choice , i LOVE it , there i said it , should i feel guilty for that ? no fucking way ! And while i find the 50's ideals of "being a woman ' archaic there is something to be said for the effort women went to to look good , looking good is no longer about pleasing a man although i do love the occasional compliment , it's about feeling good , respecting yourself enough to give a damn .
Ive partied , Ive partied HARD , i have established a career , found a guy i adore , traveled but what i really wanted deep down during my times as head instigator of debauchery was to one day be a good mother and a good wife , that is my need , my want .
You may feel the need to climb the corporate ladder , become a star , fly to the moon , travel the world ,those could very well be your dreams but thats the point right , we are free to make dreams reality in this day in age .
We have come so far and yet we have so much further to go but its a start , be proud to be a woman , stand tall , strive for your dreams its NEVER too late .
Now if only those fuckers in head office would pay us equally .............
Welcome
So this is my first venture into the blogoshpere , intimidated ? a little .
What does one write to such a vast potential audience ?
I feel as if i am swimming into the deep unknown one stroke at a time , ah fuck it , i will take the plunge ......Here goes .
What do i hope to achieve with my blog ? a place for women to feel human , for men to understand , for people to laugh , cry , scream and sigh with an overwhelming sense of relief that "I'm not insane other people think like me too "
I am a woman , a lover , a daughter , a mother , a sister and a friend .
I am emotional ,passionate , intelligent , classy and yet i swear like a sailor .
I say what i mean and mean what i say and i make no apologies for being me .
So pour yourself a drink , make it a double sit back and delve into my mind .
These are the musings of the modern day housewife , this is unscripted and uncensored.
Lady Luxe .
What does one write to such a vast potential audience ?
I feel as if i am swimming into the deep unknown one stroke at a time , ah fuck it , i will take the plunge ......Here goes .
What do i hope to achieve with my blog ? a place for women to feel human , for men to understand , for people to laugh , cry , scream and sigh with an overwhelming sense of relief that "I'm not insane other people think like me too "
I am a woman , a lover , a daughter , a mother , a sister and a friend .
I am emotional ,passionate , intelligent , classy and yet i swear like a sailor .
I say what i mean and mean what i say and i make no apologies for being me .
So pour yourself a drink , make it a double sit back and delve into my mind .
These are the musings of the modern day housewife , this is unscripted and uncensored.
Lady Luxe .
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