musings of the domesticated godess

Sunday, April 10, 2011

stop "teaching " your child to draw !!!

Ok this is something that annoys the crap out of me .

Children are brilliant , creative and have imaginations that far outweigh the scraps of imagination that adults have so it drives me batty ( especially when I was teaching ) to see a child draw ..lets say ...a girl , stick figure , round head , triangle dress and instantly you KNOW their parents have been trying to "teach" them how to draw .

Sorry but that isnt teaching ANYTHING in fact what it is doing is crushing their creativity , their imagination and their power of observation into fine detail .

Children from the moment they pick up a pen arent always drawing anything , it could just be they enjoy the feeling of making big circles so please dont try and coax them into saying it is a truck or a snake instead of saying " that looks like a truck " say " what are doing here it looks very interesting " then they wont feel pressured to say it is anything , then they can freely say " IM MAKING BIG CIRCLES !!" .

If they do want you to be involved in their art , if they do say " I want to draw a dog" then encourage them to be an observer , get a picture of a dog , encourage them to talk about what they see .
" is the dog big or little , what shape is its head , does it have a long or short nose , are its ears floppy or do they stick up what kind of fur does the dog have , encourage them to really see where all the parts go , is the dog sitting up or down ? can you see all of its legs ? "

Not only will you be amazed at how observant they are you will not believe the finely detailed art pieces they come out with when encouraged to really see the deatil .

So please try not to encourage stick figure people , smiley " faces " with circle head , circle eyes and and a one line smile .

If your child does a drawing on their own and makes a picture of a person that to you barely resembles a bowl of noodles DO not say it looks like noodles or say it doesnt look like a person respect their work and appreaciate their abstract art because if I see one more carbon copy , creativly killed child Im gonna cry .

Here is a great poem by one of the most amazing childhood educators talking about the hundred languages of children and how they have far more ability to express themselves through their creativity and how adults are set on crushing this wonderful ability ......don't kill it nuture it .

The Hundred Languages Of Children
The child
is made of one hundred.
The child has
a hundred languages
a hundred hands
a hundred thoughts
a hundred ways of thinking
of playing, of speaking.
A hundred always a hundred
ways of listening
of marveling, of loving
a hundred joys
for singing and understanding
a hundred worlds
to discover
a hundred worlds
to invent
a hundred worlds
to dream.
The child has
a hundred languages
(and a hundred hundred hundred more)
but they steal ninety-nine.
The school and the culture
separate the head from the body.
They tell the child:
to think without hands
to do without head
to listen and not to speak
to understand without joy
to love and to marvel
only at Easter and at Christmas.
They tell the child:
to discover the world already there
and of the hundred
they steal ninety-nine.
They tell the child:
that work and play
reality and fantasy
science and imagination
sky and earth
reason and dream
are things
that do not belong together.

And thus they tell the child
that the hundred is not there.
The child says:
No way. The hundred is there.

Loris Malaguzzi
(translated by Lella Gandini

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I de- lidded my kid !

The day my son was born I fell in love .....well kinda , you see something wasn't right , something had to be changed ... His eyelids , that's right they had to go .

Some people ask me "why did you remove his eyelids ? " and it is simple really , let me explain .

First off I heard it was all the rage and I didn't want my kid to be different
and that piece of skin covering the eyeball is essentially useless , on top of that removing the eyelid gets rid of that pesky wetness and reduces risk of infections and contagious disease like conjunctivitis .

To be honest I find the thought of eyelids disgusting , I am somewhat attracted to people without them ... I figure someone out there will appreciate my decision for him in the future and I am sure he wont mind after all he will never know the difference right ?

Now that my son is older things have started to happen , he has come to realize he wasn't born this way , he complains that his eyes are always dry , calloused and weathered by it's constantly open environment , his sight has diminished in fact he says the entire function of his eyes have diminished , he will never enjoy the full functioning of his eyes as nature intended , he wonders why it is I chose to alter him , he expresses the wish to have had the choice .................

In reality I know men do not have feelings nor do they express them so maybe I will continue to practice this with my next child , normalize it a little , make my eldest feel like he is in good company and hopefully one day he will see what I see and de-lid his kid too .

DISCLAIMER : This is not a real trend , do not follow this blindly , do not jump on the bandwagon , de-lidding does not reduce infection or contagious disease , it will not make them "fit in " , it does NOT look better , the eyelid is a fully functioning part of the visual anatomy ...................much like circumcision and the prepuce .

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Natural beauty

Something a little different .......... Beauty , is it all about expensive creams and luxurious day spa's ? NO !

You can have beautiful skin within walking distance to your very own kitchen , here are some natural tips for environmentally friendly , delicious and cheap skin savers .


Yes sleep , hard to get in the realm of mother hood but boy does it do wonders for your complexion , now I cannot offer to babysit everyone of your children while you catch the beauty sleep train but I can advise you TRY to go to bed early , nap if you can while the kids are asleep or if you have a super wonderful partner take turns in morning sleep ins .

Sunscreen .

SO important unless you want to look like a leathery old sea turtle PUT IT ON but please be careful to check the types you use some have carcinogenic chemicals present here is a list of safe ones :

Alba Botanica
All Terrain
Beyond Coastal
Blue Lizard
California Baby
Caribbean Solutions
UV Natural

For more info check out

Sun damage is the number one reason for aging so slip , slop , slap !


One Indian natural tanning solution is to Mix half a teaspoon of turmeric with whole milk to get a paste, and leave it on a facial mask for five minutes. After you wash it away, you’ll notice a soft golden glow without the use of chemicals or plastics – and you’ll have done something great for your skin.

Olive oil.

If your hair is very dry olive oil can really help it. It will nourish the dry hair and also leave it shiny and silky. Add a few drops of warm olive oil to towel dried hair and leave in for 20 minutes to an hour. Then rinse with cold water.

Use a mixture of pure olive oil with 1/2 parts sea salt as an in-shower body scrub. This combo completely eliminates the need for lotion and is great for winter weather.

Stress .

Yes stress it ages you like an old lemon in the sun , meditate for at least 10 minutes a day , try yoga or pilates a happy healthy mind and spirit is happy skin .

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Children are not human ?

So after yesterday's vent I thought I would feel much better but no , no I feel worse after thinking about children , the youngest , most vulnerable , humans on the planet who it seems have no voice , I started thinking " how can people treat children so badly ? how is it the people who need the most protecting are offered NADA , NOTHING , ZIP "
Hell , children aren't even HUMAN according to our charter of human rights because apparently they are not covered by these very laws to protect our species, of course little boys are far less human than litte girls at least little girls genitals are protected *eye roll*

Lets take a look at where children skip out shall we :

* Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.
HA !don't think so kiddies , Apparently if someone gives birth to you they OWN you and therefore their right to hit you and cut of integral parts of your sexual anatomy over rides your rights to security of person .

* No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.
Again if you are sub human or worse A BOY this does not apply to you expect a swift spank and cutting of your prepuce with as little thought to it as microwaving your two minute noodles .

* All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Sorry that should read : All are equal before the law EXCEPT those smaller than 4 foot with a penis .

# (1) Everyone has the right to seek and to enjoy in other countries asylum from persecution.

Just not in your own home where corporal punishment is king .

* Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Wait a minute do children get an opinion ? oh that's right not human ;)

* Nothing in this Declaration may be interpreted as implying for any State, group or person any right to engage in any activity or to perform any act aimed at the destruction of any of the rights and freedoms set forth herein.

Hmmm that last one is interesting indeed .......

My children were born as humans with rights , as their parent and ambassador to this new world it is my duty to protect their rights and furthermore teach them because one day my human boys will be men and they WILL know their rights .

Monday, January 10, 2011

WATCH OUT it's a BOOB !!!

Boob's , such wonderful creations .

I have long been a fan of boob's , they are beautiful to look at whether it is in an artwork , sculpture or just simply appreaciating a good set when you see them . They are super fun especially for the men ( or women ) in our lives during times of frisky fun and then ( often due to frisky fun ) we fall pregnant , have a baby and discover the wonderful and amazing bond that is breast feeding .

WAIT you may gasp , boobs are for fun AND feeding ??

Why yes Ma'am they are indeed you see human females have permanantly engorged breasts to first attract a mate sexually from which they mate and reproduce and from the very same breast we feed our child , AMAZING !

Given humans are ( supposedly ) super smart and top of the food chain you would think it would be simple for us to be able to differentiate between the sexual breast and the nutritional breast but alas it seems some of us  are not , you see not too long ago facebook went on a breastfeeding support page and breastfeeding photo deleting frenzy !

One of facebooks most active and loved breastfeeding support pages The leaky B@@b was deleted , according to those in high places the nutritional breast is OBSCENE  !

 Right about now I would be inserting a LOL , LMAO , ROTFL or even ROTFLMFAO at the idiocy of the people who took the time to report these pages but I can't I am actually pissed off , pissed off at the continued attack on breastfeeding mothers , natural birthing doula's , pages such as saving PENISES ( now saving our sons ) are being targeted , are these people bored young people yet to experience children of their own ? or worse are they parents passing their high level douchbaggery genes on to their unsuspecting children ?

Either way one thing is for sure people need to get the fuck over it , it is a breast feeding  baby if YOU have an issue with that than own it , it is no one elses problem you have difficulty using your brain .And to facebook , come on guys you made a multi million dollar company and yet it is controlled by the single click of some moron who has the depth and intelligence of a  goldfish ? Really ?

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

care of the intact penis .

So you left your son intact ? CONGRATULATIONS !!

But now what ? how do I clean his penis ? is it difficult ? 

These are questions many new parents do not know the answer to and for many they are given horrendously shocking advice by medical practitioners to do things like retract the foreskin of their baby , but STOP !

There is a golden rule of thumb that ALL parents of intact boys should know : 
When intact don't retract , Only clean what is seen .

  • Leave the foreskin alone; wash only what is external and readily visible.
  • Never forcibly retract your son's foreskin and don't permit anyone else to do so.
  • Make certain your son's medical attendants understand his foreskin is not to be retracted or tampered with.
  • Always stay with your son during his doctor visits and exams.
  • When teaching the child to bathe and care for himself, let the child retract his own foreskin if he wants to. He will not retract it beyond the point of discomfort.
  • A child's foreskin does not need to be retracted regularly for cleaning until the end of puberty. It should not be retracted during early childhood. [1]

But why ? you ask , here is the lowdown on WHY you never retract .

The Forcible retraction of the foreskin , sometimes called premature retraction, in infants or young adults can damage the glans and mucous inner tissue of the foreskin. Doctors or parents who may be unfamiliar with the intact penis can often do this not knowing that it can be damaging. At birth, the foreskin is fused to the glans. Over time, separation occurs naturally the average age being 10 years old .

Forcible retraction may lead to bleeding , scarring, pathological phimosis  or paraphimosis , and often pain. Adhesions after forcible retraction, especially in infants, can fuse the foreskin with itself or the glans, leading to skin bridges .

The  AAP caution parents not to retract their son's foreskin, but suggest that once he reaches puberty, he should retract and gently wash with soap and water. The Royal Australasian college of physicians  as well as the Canadian Pediatric society  emphasize that the infant foreskin should be left alone and requires no special care.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Importance of human touch

How do you feel when you are in a new place surrounded by strangers ? Intimidated ? scared ? uncomfortable ?

But wait there is someone you know  , someone who smells good , feels warm and homely , wouldn't you love some comfort ? perhaps a hug ? 

Yes we as adults can at times feel like this but through a great upbringing with strong attachments we can also take the new and strange in our strides human touch to any human is stress relieving and therapeutic   , now imagine you are a small baby in the same surrounding , they feel 10x the amount of anxiety at such a young age this is why human touch is of extreme importance in the first year of life and beyond .

A newborn needs human touch not only for therapeutic reasons but also for optimal development.
 Benefits to human-touch bonding include: promotion of a strong, loving bond between the newborn and their caregiver; alleviating the amount of pain during teething, colic, constipation, and medical procedures; better sleep patterns; and stimulating brain development.

Here is an interesting article on the power of human touch .

Massage is a great bonding activity .

The skin is the largest organ in the body and touch is human's natural way of reacting to pain and stress and conveying love and compassion. When something painful happens to you like when you accidentally bump your head on the wall, your natural reaction would be to rub the affected area to ease the pain. Kisses, hugs, and holding hands, meanwhile, are people's way of expressing emotions toward another person.
Some people may not realize this but human touch has intense positive effects on overall health. In fact, people who are touch deprived are prone to diseases and emotional dysfunction. In nursing homes, tactile stimulation and caring touch are utilized to give patients a sense of security. In infants, those who are caressed by their parents often develop more properly than those who are not nurtured by their mothers.
Having a massage is one of the best ways to enjoy the wonderful benefits of physical touch. This therapy, which is known primarily for being able to relax both the mind and body, can bring a host of physiological and psychological effects in your health such as improvement of circulation, strengthening of the immune system, relaxation of tense muscles, reduction of spasms and pain, and improvement of range of motion, among many others.
However, it is important to note that massage is not the only way to experience the power of human touch. Even a simple kiss, hug, or a handshake can have positive psychological effects that can enhance overall health and facilitate healing and recovery.
On the physical level, human touch has the ability to lower blood pressure and reduce stress and tension. This is because a soothing touch can trigger the increase of oxytocin levels in the body, which gives a calming effect. When there is pain, a comforting human touch can alleviate the feeling and act as a numbing agent.
When it comes to emotional benefits, human touch like a comforting hand squeeze, a gentle tap on the back, or a reassuring hug can help intensely in stress management by calming and easing a person's nerves. It is no wonder people feel good about themselves when they give or receive a hug. It is a sign that someone cares for them. Some studies have shown that people who receive sufficient physical affection (especially the non-sexual type) are less prone to depression and unhealthy habits such as drinking and smoking.
Aside from the two mentioned above, nourishment and comfort are also primary benefits of the human touch. Babies have instinctive craving for this. When a mother comforts a baby, rocks him or touches him lovingly, she may not be aware but this can greatly affect the growth and behavior of the child. Those who are held more often grow up to be more confident and less clingy children to those who are not.
For centuries, the human touch has been known to have positive healing effects on people. Even before medical technologies and medications were invented, people made use of the therapeutic effect of the human touch to improve a wide variety of health problems. Today, many still rely on the power of human touch.